"The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny - it is the light that guides your way."
Greek Philosopher Heraclitus
so, it’s been alittle while since i’ve been on my tumblr. i guess i’m both happy and sad at the same time. i’m not sure how to explain it, i guess i’m really putting an effort to try to be happy. what’s the point of living if i’m just suffering and sad. if i’m going to be alive i might as well be happy, and they say happiness is a choice.. i think it really easy, it seems like strong people are often the happiest. i think i was right to try to be stronger awhile back, it’s starting to work, i’m seeing improvement. i think i have to take care of myself from the inside before things on the outside start looking nice. i’m only 18, i still have a few more years before things need to start improving. before, all i could even care about was money money money. it consumed me, and although i still do desire it, i don’t truly believe money alone could make me happy. i think money could contribute to my happiness, but happiness comes from within. i’ve got to be happy within before i have money. i guess my main short term goal would be to find out what makes me truly happy, and try to build habits that bring out happiness. i know i’m a very sensitive girl, i break down very easily. it seems that i’m always at my worse when i’m on my period, i don’t know if i should do something about it or just accept it. sometimes, it can be really bad, but almost every period i will end up crying/wailing at least once… i don’t know if these are just emotions that need to come out or if i’m just creating them, maybe both. they say crying is healthy, but i think there are limits to everything, i can’t just be crying all the time i’m an adult for goodness sake. it was okay when i was younger, but at the point i think i need to learn how to control my emotions alittle more. not completely, because frankly i don’t think i can, but at least try to improve them.
Lately i’ve been eating healthier, and relaxing more. i think i need to sleep more though, maybe i’ll feel more refreshed, i always do after a long nights sleep. i think i’m going to start trying to sleep, it’s so rediculous that sleep is even a problem. i hate and love that i put the people i love as my priority. the smart thing would be to put myself as a priority, but i like that i care about my friends so much.
anyways, i’m on operation healing and rejuvination. i want to be a healthier person mentally, physically, and spiritually. i’m really hoping that if i’m healthier, i’ll learn to become happier.